This full moon cycle has been a doozy. I have seen blow ups between family members and between friends all over social media. For most of my life, I have avoided confrontation and expressing my feelings. I have been concerned with gaining (or losing) the approval of people I respect and care about or looking like a “bitch”. I’ve heard the saying “You can’t please everyone” a million times, but the truth of that statement is really manifesting in my life.
One thing I am working on is taking better care of me. This is not easy. I have begun removing people from my life who are toxic. On social media, if we don’t interact for a month or more (in person or online); I am unfriending. I don’t want people who simply fill a space on my friends list. Also, if you regularly post updates and memes that air your dirty laundry or bash people who live different lifestyles than you; I am unfriending.
Over the past two months, I have removed about fifteen people. Some of them have messaged me and behaved in a passive-aggressive manner. As difficult as it was, I simply stated the reasons for my removal of them from my profile. These messages have prompted me to examine myself and what causes these people to think this behavior is acceptable. What is it about me that brings this out in our interactions but not their interactions with mutual friends?
I think these people know that I have a hard time asserting myself. Like a dog can smell fear; they can smell a doormat (or what they think is a doormat). I hate being perceived as mean or a bitch because I am neither of those. I also hate being perceived as weak or a doormat because I am neither of those.
What I have noticed is that the more assertive I am, the easier it gets. I have some truly wonderful people in my life who inspire me to be myself and to take better care of myself. I watch them and think, “Yes. That is how I want to be: strong, confident, kind, loving, and still taking care of myself.” These people encourage me every day, and I am grateful for their friendship.
As one of my favorite authors, Ly de Angeles says, “There is no room in the Craft for whiners, wimps, hypocrisy, cowardice, pomposity, or any other of the acceptable masks of the inept. It takes courage to be unfettered. It also takes a degree of daring (p. 83).” ~ Witchcraft: Theory & Practice
I am a Witch and it is time to start behaving like one.